Christmas Time

So, I love my family, or, at the very least I have strong feelings for them, but this Christmas, I am being selfish.

The past few christmases have been a show of selfishness and frustration for me. From people not properly arranging transport, to people neglecting my parents needs, to complaints about who spent how much on who.

Last year, we were only partially accommodating, as our main focus was time at home with the immediate family, Deanne, Lorelai and myself. For the first christmas in years, Lorelai actually got time to play with her toys on the day, and to quote her, it was “the best christmas ever!”

This, coupled with how horrible and frustrating the previous years had been, has lead to a decision that has displeased a lot of my family, we are spending our christmas at home. We decided we would to go to my parents for a short breakfast, and to Deanne’s parents for a short dinner. The intention being that we get to spend as much time at home as possible, with each other, doing what we want. We informed our parents early, which wasn’t an issue as it was October.

The next step we took on our selfish christmas was to target present buying. We decided that we would indicate to everyone that presents will not be required for our family. We do not expect presents, and people are not to expect presents from us. We felt this was unfair on our nephews and nieces, so have decided to get them small things, but nothing extravagant, or pricey – all done without the intent that people buy for us or our daughter.

The frustrating part of all this is that though we have been upfront and clear, my parents now won’t be home christmas morning anymore. They will be spending it at my brothers, but we are welcome to drive the hour there, stay for a bit and drive an hour home. As nice as the gesture is, it will interrupt our family plans for the day, as we would literally be giving up the entire morning to do so. We look like the villains for saying no, but our plans were made months ago.

We have come to the decision that moving forward, this day is a time for us. Every year we were trying to be accommodating for a fairytale that wasn’t coming true,. In our fairy-tale free house, Lorelai understands that there is no santa and magic reindeers, and that for our family, christmas is the time for the giving of gifts to those we love or are thankful for in our lives. Staying home and keeping it close knit will be the best day for all of us.